Our descent into hell
by T.J. Wise
Summary: It's the end of S4 E19 and Damon & Stefan managed to vervain Elena so they can "Lexi" her into switching her emotions back on. The brothers never realized the hell that it would be to take "their girlfriend" through rehab. Rating for the few swear words present. ELENA, DAMON & STEFAN
1. Hell

**AN: This is a little something that got stuck in my brains... I wish I had more time to really go into the first 30 days but I don't so... Also, you might catch glimpses of songs and movies that were running through my head as you read...**

**Enjoy.**

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Thirty days... Thirty long and tortuous, gut wrenching fucking days since Stefan and I pleaded with Bonnie to stop magically frying Elena's brains as she writhed in my arms at their graduation dance...

Thirty days since I held Elena and watched the fleeting look of betrayal in her brown eyes when my brother injected her with vervain...

Thirty days since we shoved Elena, the woman I desperately love, into our basement cell for her own version of "Girl interrupted" - no, the irony is not lost in me either...

Thirty days and I am so fucking tired... My soul is raw from every second that has elapsed since then... My brother walks around like a hollow shell, portraying the guilt that I cannot bear to show... Because I know this is all my fault...

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We made Elena's cell as "homey" as possible, it was Stefan's idea, the martyr that he is... Caroline insisted in bringing a wrought iron bed, a mattress, pillows and a saccharine matchy-matchy bed set. I still don't know if these choices were made to inflict misery or comfort on Elena. After all, it's no secret that she and Caroline are on a BFF break and that, for now, they hate each others guts. So maybe that god awful bed spread is a way to ensure giving Elena a headache. Maybe...

Barbie wen't a step further, she painstakingly put together a compilation of old family and childhood movies. Some she found in her personal stuff and the rest she downloaded from a secret YouTube account that baby Gilbert created with Matt in preparation for Elena's first "un-birthday". Matt told us it was Jeremy's way to remind Elena of her humanity... "Wish granted kid... I just don't know if your sister will _ever_ listen..."

For good measure, Caroline and Bonnie also added photos and songs that were supposed to tug at Elena's heartstrings - Stefan and I have had the pleasure of enduring a string of boy bands on repeat. The multimedia show has been playing on a loop since day one, like a morbid litany reflected on the dirty wall of her cell. I am not sure any of this is going to make a believer out of Elena... My Elena seems too far gone... The girl I love is still in there somewhere, buried and tucked away deep into some obscure recess of her mind... It was bound to happen... She had been so good for so long... Self-sacrificing, no regards for her personal well being, best friend, faithful girlfriend, rescuer of lost souls, bearer of unspeakable grief... It had to break her sometime... And when I gave her a way out she took it, _boy did she take it_... My Elena checked out to Hotel California and all we were left with were the bad parts...

Don't get me wrong... I am thankful as hell that no matter how bad she has gotten _she still is **not** Katherine_. This version of Elena is however almost as disturbing... I should know, it's been thirty days of hell.

In preparing her cell and to further the absurdity, the girls also added a modesty screen- as if this version of Elena had any left. There they placed a large barrel of rain water and a mug that Elena could use to wash her self. Clearly not the Ritz but... The white fluffy towel Caroline hung next to the pink rimmed mirror convinced me that her and Bonnie were as invested in making Elena comfortable as they were in getting even. It was all a mockery...

The funny thing was that, as I watched Barbie and Witchy decorate and prep, all I could think was "Why didn't I save her teddy bear?". How absurd can you get? I know... but he would be right at home in this "let's play pretend" world we were building around the unconscious vampire we wanted to save... The woman I loved... Love...My Elena. Let's play pretend because that comes naturally...

Since they concluded they "Better Homes" joint venture, Caroline and Bonnie have not set foot in the basement. Matt, Liz and even Elijah call sometimes... But at the end of the day is back to the three of us, Stefan, I and the broken girl we love...

.

.

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After everyone else was gone, I watched and watched Elena's still form through the bars of that grimy cell. The sleeping beauty that she was, displayed on a bed like a giant doll in her red ball dress... making this pantomime more absurd by the second; making me wish I could just yank the old Elena out from wherever she is hiding.

It took Elena hours to wake up - Witchypoo's voodoo really did a number on her insides.

Or maybe it was the vervain... Whichever it was, Elena woke up enraged -no surprise there. She stop screaming long enough to drink the single blood bag I had left for her. If only she knew then that it would be her last full meal for a while... She needed the blood to heal, but after that Stefan and I agreed on tough love, _Lexi_ style.

Well I will tell you something, _Lexi would not have survived Elena rehab_. Lexi would have shed her good Samaritan ways and staked Elena after the first 3 hours. I almost did...

The girl took stubborn to new levels, she really did. Elena rattled and raged against the cell for the first week. Cursing and growling blasphemies at me and my brother with a venom that stung. She abjured us more times than I can count, pulled every precious moment apart, dragged each relationship through the mud, hers and mine, his and hers and the one we struggle between the two of us as we try to help her get better. My favorite parts were the point by point sexual comparisons, the who's done more bad things "illustrated" chart and the offer for a debauched threesome that had us both looking like deer caught in the headlights. Elena's verbal attacks were like nail bombs, the intent was to cause as much carnage as possible... Stefan and I consumed the entire contents of my liquor cabinet to the soundtrack of her virulent words and the multimedia show.

Life could be **_such a fucking party_** sometimes...

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**AN: Chapter two following up very soon :) ****Review an let me know what you think :)**


	2. Purgatory

**AN: I felt we needed a pause to breathe... Moving on...  
Thank you for those of you that read and a *special* thank you for those of you that have reviewed. As a writer feedback helps a lot :)**

**Here is chapter number 2, I might publish chapter number 3 by the end of the day so we can wrap up this story before the new TVD episode hits the screen. :)**

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After that first week in hell, Stefan found more and more reasons to be out of the Boarding House for long periods of time... Not that I could blame him, I wanted out too... But I promised Elena once that I wouldn't leave her again... So I stayed...

From them on it was Elena and I, both trapped in this old house, both hollowed out by our internal battles. Her held back by bars, me held back by love and the vain hope of rescuing her...

And so the pattern started... I spent my days trying to coach her out of her shell, trying to find something that would flip her emotional switch back on. Apparently you can use the sire bond to flip the switch off but the manual doesn't explain how to turn it back on, no sir...

At the end of the day, tired and on the edge of despair I would slump in front of the fire place, a drink in my hands... Every night I had company, as if I was on suicide watch... Either Stefan or Caroline would sit next to me, always with a giant blood mug offering that I would drink automatically and obediently. If there were news and updates they would tell me, if not they simply stayed with me, by me, for hours and hours.

Stefan would brood in companionably silence and eventually place a hand on my shoulder, lead me to my bed and tuck me in. I vaguely wondered when he became the big brother but i was too tired, too beaten to care.

Caroline would sit on the sofa and bring my head to her lap as she rhythmically ran her fingers through my hair in a soothing gesture... Sometimes she would threaten to give me a bath and "wash behind my ears" if I didn't get my self cleaned up. I vaguely wondered about the benefits of being bathed by a prom queen but dismissed it like anything else and did as "mommy" told me to.

Night in, night out, repeat. Next days it was more of the same...

I stayed to watch Elena go from anger to apathy, then to manipulation and back to apathy. In the end, the first week was better because it is easier to justify caging a beast, and a beast she was. But watching the woman you love give up all the fight... That I wasn't prepared for... Elena's apathy crippled me more than her angry words or her scheming. I can take verbal abuse, I can take manipulation...but when Elena withdrew within herself, that really scared the shit out of me... It made me want to walk into that cell and slap her into action... _Hell, I was willing to fuck her into action if that's what it took!_Anything to get some reaction... to have some life showing in her dead eyes...

My poor brother fell prey to her manipulation - of course he would... Stefan was so eager to get her back that he would have believed that Santa was real and pigs can fly if Elena said so.

On the third week, when he found her sobbing in a corner of the cell, Stefan's resolve broke... No, it shattered. I was supposed to be out on a blood drive and he agreed to stay and watch _"our girlfriend"- _for better and for worse right?

Elena wailed and swore she was herself again. She trembled and pouted and cried and sobbed... She begged the white knight in him to believe in her, to come to her and bring comfort and salvation... Stefan bought the lie, line hook and sinker, and, after 3 weeks , he opened that cell door for the first time. As soon as the obstacle was gone, Elena bolted pass a stunned Stefan to the front door... The poor girl didn't know that Bonnie and I were expecting her to do just that... Another magical aneurysm and Baby was put back in her corner, well, in this case her cell...

Stefan was incensed at being played, mad as i have never seen he be mad before. He cussed and spoke of riding into the sunset, of how he needed to get another life and asked me quite seriously when we were going to simply stake the bitch. Bonnie made a swift exit as he rattled around in the drawing room, berating himself and his gullibility.

Baby bro was so angry and felt so betrayed that _"to help Elena"_ he convinced himself and Rebecca that a loud and rough vamp sex marathon would be _the thing_ to snap Elena out of it. Six hours, god knows how many orgasms and BackStreetBoys songs later, Stefan and Rebecca came out of his room. The effect on Stefan and the original vamp was obvious, the effect on Elena was _nil, nada, niente_. Elena apparently didn't care if Stefan fucked Rebecca, the wall or his own hand...

Well..., at least baby bro managed to work some of his frustrations out. I wish I could do the same, but the only woman that could get my dick up was hiding inside that shell of a woman in my basement...

I heard Stefan and Rebecca come down the stairs, I raised a glass in salute and gave the original bitch a tight smile as she left. Stefan came back to the drawing room, hands in his pocket, sheepish expression firmly in place.

"Sounds like you had fun." - I quipped taking a sip of my whiskey.

"Yeah." - he replied with a tight expression -"You should try it sometime." - he shrugged unapologetic.

I took a deep breath and put my drink down with a thud. Weeks of frustration, of not getting anywhere, of being caged, wearing my patience thin...

"You always have all the answers don't you Stefan?" - I said acidly but motioned for him to come closer as I scribbled on a piece of paper.

**_"Follow my lead. We are going to fight to the death. _**

**_We are going to take the squabble downstairs and make her watch._**

**_ MAKE IT REAL."_**

Stefan read it, looked up at me, raised an eyebrow and nodded.

"No Damon, I don't have all the answers, but I have one answer that matters." - Stefan replied venomously.

I chuckled in disbelief, maybe baby bro was good at this.

"And what is that Mr know it all? Please enlighten me."- I replied sarcastically.

"I'm done with this."- he hissed - "I am done with trying to save her and watching you die piece by piece as you try to save her too."- he spat out without qualms - "And I am done with being dragged down with the two of you."

"So what?"- I shouted back, getting in his face -"You are just going to drive into the sunset with your Barbie sex doll?

"Yes" - Stefan replied with glee -"But first, to save you from yourself, I am going to stake the bitch downstairs." - he said dangerously.

A growled erupted unbidden from my chest. _He was going to do what?_

Incensed and seeing 3 shades of red, I pounced on him, effectively slamming Stefan against the door that led to the basement.

"You wouldn't fucking dare" - I shouted as we tumbled down the stairs, door and all.

Stefan let out a bone chilling laughter as he produced a wooden stake as we were midair.

"I wouldn't?" - he challenged and in that moment I didn't know anymore if we were play acting anymore.

Judging by the look in Elena's face, she wasn't sure either. She was looking at the two of us, Stefan leaning dangerously over me, stake in hand, treats to end her on his lips and her eyes were wide as saucers.

"Only through my dead body brother."- I exhaled with venom, my survival and protect the girl instincts in gear.

"That can be arranged." - he smiled again as our bodies collided and danced around each other's with sickening crunches and blood spatters, mixed with anger, growls and fear -"I am tired of living this eternity of misery." - Stefan bellowed -"I am tired of you, of the girls we both love, of a past that _will not leave me alone_."- he barked.

I felt Stefan's ribs crack under my knuckles as I delivered punch after punch.

"You. Don't. Mean. That." - I punctuated my blows with words and anger.

"Oh, but I do brother." - Stefan screamed as he drove me against the concrete wall for another sickening crunch at the back of my skull - "And if I have to kill _you_ and _her_ to get a shot at a life of my own..." - he gave me another blood curling smile -"It will be my pleasure through and through..."

The blood was pouring out of my skull, dizziness was taking over and I had a hard time keeping my eyes open. I saw Stefan raise the arm with the stake, behind him Elena watched me horrified. Our eyes met and I knew this was goodbye...

"Sorry I couldn't save you..." - I whispered brokenly as darkness was gaining on me.

I could no longer see, but I heard the whoosh of Stefan's arms coming down, Elena's screeching voice begging, ordering him to stop, the protest of the cell door as it cracked under her assault as I felt the jagged edge of the wooden stake enter my body...

The pain was excruciating, but as I blacked out, the strangled noise my brother made was even more painful...

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**AN: Drum roll please! Review and let me know what you think :)**


	3. Heaven

**AN: Sorry to leave you hanging...**

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Consciousness came back in jagged little pieces glowing like shards of a migraine... I tried to move but I felt like shit that had been trampled on...

The silky sheets against my aching back anchored me a bit more to this reality...Then I noticed the soft skin wrapped around my naked body, a delicate hand over the center of the pain on my chest, and I was grounded.

I didn't need to open my eyes to know whose skin this was. I would know it was her, I would know her smell, her shape, her body, anywhere, even if I was in hell... I would always recognize Elena, always.

This must be a dream... I think to myself, so I hug her tighter to me even if my muscles protest. I want to bask in the feeling of her... I have missed her _so much_, and even if this is a dream, my bleeding heart needs some repose.

Maybe I am dead and this is heaven... An eternity of lying in bed with the girl I love, content of being, being here with her. Never mind the throbbing ache everywhere else... Elena is here, in my arms, I cannot ask for a better heaven.

Elena shifts and my grip on her body tightens further. A silent plea for her not to leave, for this dream not to end.

"Damon?" - she whispers softly as if afraid her words will break me -"Are you awake?"

Her tone is so tentative and hopeful that I can't help but answer.

"I don't want to wake up."- I say like a petulant child with my eyes closed -"I don't want this dream to end."

Elena giggles and fuck me if it isn't the most wonderful sound I have ever heard.

I feel her soft lips on my cheek.

"Wake up sleepy head." - she coos -"You need to feed so that you can get better."

I open one eye and then another, eyeing her suspiciously, waiting for the dream to evaporate. When it doesn't I am filled with awe.

"You are here."- I whisper devotionally -"You are _really_ here."

"Good to see you too."- she smiles sweetly and I almost come undone.

If Elena sees the tears forming in my eyes she does a hell of a job at not saying anything. She tries to get up and I hold her in place.

"Don't go." - I beg pathetically.

"I'm just getting you some blood silly."- she smiles and kisses my nose -"I will be back in a second. I promise"- and with that I let her go with a deep sigh.

Fuck, even breathing hurts... That reminds me...

"Stefan?" - I ask out loud, well, as loud as I can manage without wincing.

There is no reply and soon Elena is back by my side with six warmed up mugs of blood. She puts them down on the night stand and trusts one into my hands.

"Drink."- nurse Elena orders sternly and I do as I am told -"We will fix you a little with these, but then we need to get you a couple of donors to get you all better." - she says with a patronizing voice.

"I'm all for role playing babe."- I smirk at her but it disintegrates under a haze of pain -"But give a man time to recoup will you?" - I finish trying to play it cool.

Elena laughs and it is a balm for my soul, the best pain medicine ever. I swallow two of the six mugs before I have the courage to ask.

"Stefan?"

"He is ok." - she says quietly looking at me fondly and I let out the air that I didn't know I was holding -"But he is not here."

"He left?"- I screech -"Drove into the fucking sunset and all?"- I say incredulously with a bit more outrage than my guarded normal self would let through.

Elena eyes me curiously before a third voice interrupts her answer.

"Nahh."- I look up to see my brother leaning smugly against the door frame -"It turns out that sunsets are not really my thing." - he smiles playfully - the bastard.

I instinctively place a hand over my chest and look down to where Stefan drove the stake into me. I don't know how long I was looking down at it, but the feeling of his hand over mine made me look up.

"You said to make it real."- he offers with an apologetic shrug.

"Since when do you listen to me?" - I answered exasperated.

He smiles and quotes fucking Shakespeare with flair.

"I am one, my liege,  
Whom the vile blows and buffets of the world  
Hath so incensed that I am reckless what  
I do to spite the world."

"Very funny Stefan."- I deadpan as he guffaws -"Bookworm."- I mutter under my breath.

"Well, it worked." - he replies sweetly looking meaningfully to the girl holding my hand and seated next to me in bed.

I look at her, really look at her for the first time since waking up.

"It did..." - I whisper reverentially -"It really did..." - I reach to caress Elena's face, fascinated with having _my _Elena back.

Elena returns my stare with equal emotion and it is up to Saint Stefan to fill out the blanks.

"It turns out that the solution was staring us right in the face." - he replied smugly -"All we needed was to threaten the life of someone she loved..."

I smile and rolled my eyes exaggeratedly at the girl and Elena giggles at my antics as she trusts another mug in my hands.

"We still don't know if she couldn't bear to loose anyone else or..." - Stefan paused and I looked at him questioningly -"Or if she simply couldn't bear to loose _you_..." - he smiled boyishly and there was no sorrow behind his words. I know because I looked, real hard.

Stefan stood up and patted my shoulder affectionately.

"I am going to give you two some room to talk."- he winked at Elena -"Just remember he is a recovering patient will you?" - Elena nodded mischievously and he shook his head in amusement as if they were old friends sharing a secret - "I'm going to go and procure some Tridelts willing to help out with our blood bank." - he smiled and waved- "See you later."

Stefan left the room with a suspicious spring in his step. I watched him go wearily, trying to puzzle out this new happy go lucky behavior of his.

Elena's soft fingers took hold of my chin and turned me towards her.

"He is fine. He really is."- she smiled beaming confidence and love and trusting the last of the mugs into my hands.

"Since when?" - I asked affronted and confused.

"Since he realized he is _truly_ over me." - she kissed my right cheek - "That I love you beyond measure." - she kissed my left cheek -"That he loves you more that he realized." - she kissed one eyelid then another -"That he doesn't need to leave or go anywhere to be happy." - she kissed my lips softly.

"Really?"- I smiled cockily -"How long was I out?"

"Too long" - she whispered wantonly claiming my lips eagerly.

Maybe this is what heaven feels like after all.

~ THE END ~

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**AN: Hope you liked it. Let me know your thoughts. xoxo**


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